The ‘American Moms’ visit went extremely well. They very kindly brought New York Yankees T-shirts for the kids, so I spent a good ten minutes trying to explain to my three about baseball. No, not really like cricket. Yes, a bit like rounders, but with steroids.
There was no sniggering about fannies (from me), and only one cringeworthy moment when one of the kids asked in his best Little Lord Fauntleroy voice what a ‘dawg’ was.
I decided to make good old fashioned Bangers and Mash for lunch, as this seemed to strike the right balance of authentic British grub, but without the terror-inducing properties of offal. I had forgotten how easy it is to frighten Americans with talk of steak and kidney pie. An American friend once had to leave the room when I happily described how my Mum used to feed us roast lamb hearts. I think subsequently she always viewed me as a not-so-distant relative of Hannibal Lecter. Good job I never told her that I like a nice Chianti.
I have become a lot more squeamish about food as I have become older. In the past, my ‘cast iron stomach’ has ingested all manner of stuff from frog’s legs, snails, tripe, brains and various other glands. I have even eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters, but I thought they were just a load of bollocks. I am not so adventurous any more – I just tend to stick to liver, or black pudding, and am partial to the occasional tongue sandwich (but that’s another story).
I am finishing up the last leftover glass of Montana Reserve Pinot Noir, Marlborough (Ocado £9.99). It just sneaks in under the £10 pain barrier, but it is so smooth and silky, and I knew it would go really well with the sausages.
Judging by the way my kids view everything on their plates with the utmost suspicion, I really cannot see a great future for offal, despite the huge part it has played in the culinary history of our nation. But then, there will always be sausages, which contain all the wobbly, stringy and gristly bits that we can’t face, but just chopped up very small, so that we don’t quite realise what it is we are eating.